Hello! I’m Ana, and I am a professional Mistake Artist with 29 years of experience and an unapologetically filthy mouth. I’m a single parent to a 2-year-old boy and a 10-year-old dog. Those closest to me have described me as stubborn, strong, hilarious, weird, and ~a robot. Most of this is true (I’m actually a cyborg). I want to say thank you so much for visiting Celebrate Your Flaws. I’ve struggled with depression my entire life, and there have been so many times where I felt like the isolation was going to swallow me whole. The more I tried to connect with people the worse it got. I didn’t know if I would survive, I felt like there was nothing to live for and no one cared. It’s funny how you can be so divided inside- I refer to my depression as my shadow self- so I would tell myself how loved I was, and my shadow self would then spend every waking hour trying to convince me otherwise. If you know what that’s like, this site is for you.
There’s nothing worse than someone telling you how loved you are when you feel so completely unlovable.
I can’t quite put my finger on why, but it hurts like hell. It makes me hate myself so much more. I get mad because they are so out of touch with reality that they can’t even see how horrible I am. Either that, or they’re lying because they think that’s what I want to hear. It’s not true, though. It’s a big lie my shadow self tells me to stay in control. Depression is power hungry, folks, and it wants to control your life. Being depressed is essentially being in an abusive relationship with yourself, and it’s SO HARD to get away. It’s almost impossible.
It’s not impossible, though.
I made this site because when I figured out that I could actually tell my shadow self to get the hell out of my life, I felt SO empowered. Immediately I felt the need to tell you that you can do it, too. I bet you’re thinking I’m wrong, I have no idea how bad your mental illness is and how unbeatable it is. Been there, done that. My depression was out of control. It took over my life, it got all up on my business, and for the majority of my adult life it called all the shots. It felt like a part of me that I couldn’t change, because it had always been there. The truth was I was afraid to lose it, because I didn’t know how to live without it.
February 2016 vs. August 2017 – I am living proof that we wear our depression for all to see.
After seeking help, I learned to live without my depression.
I would love to tell you all about my story- my lifelong battle, my recovery, and my daily journey. It means the world to me to have the opportunity to share all of this, in the hopes that it helps even one person feel like they’re not alone. Depression is hard, and recovery takes a lot of work, but I know for a fact that it’s not impossible to overcome. So if you’re still with me please head over to the blog to read some of my stories. Feel free to visit the community board as well. It’s there for you to share your story, or read others’. We need to to do this as a team, guys. I can’t stress that enough. The best thing we can do for one another is support each other. Listen when someone needs to talk. Love someone who feels unlovable.
Just so you know, every once in a while we’re gonna make some crafts.
I love to stay busy and find constructive things to channel my energy into. This usually translates into crafts (or as I like to call it, gluing shit to other shit and maybe putting glitter on it). I also clearly love to write, and I make a bunch of lists for various purposes- they benefit my life so much. I will do my best to share my crafts with you, and if you want to share your crafts with us, that would be even better! You can do that right here.
Step out of the shadows of your depression, and celebrate your flaws.
They’re what make you interesting! Everything you’ve gone through has pushed you to try harder, to do more. You’re on a path, and you get to decide where it takes you. None of us are perfect, and that’s what makes us so damn awesome.